A right royal carry on

A “shocking” Gallup poll conducted on behalf of USA Today revealed that 81% of those questioned were completely indifferent to the presence of Charles and Camilla, currently on a PR tour of the USA.

I say shocking, because that means a whopping 19% actually were interested: 19% more than I would have predicted. Indifference to the future king and his Rod Hull-lookalike missus probably runs at similar levels in the UK, so why would we expect Americans to feel any different?

Charles and Camilla must rank as the least popular British export since mad cow disease.

Thoughts for today. . .

1. If Prince Charles really hates facing the media so much, then why, why, why doesn’t he just stop? It’s not like there’s a gun held to his head. He’d be doing us all a favour anyway, and would stop taking up valuable news space. Jug eared twat.
2. Overheard at work by two colleagues discussing their iPod playlists: “The Maroon 5 album’s really good”. Now, let’s be clear about this, lest there be any confusion: listening to the excretia pumped out by these turgid, sub-OC soundtrack material, soul-less, MTV poodle, pop-funk cocksuckers is like being fucked in the ears. They make me envy the deaf. Just wanted to clear that up, once and for all.
3. Can we please impose regime change in Zimbabwe?
4. Even a broken clock tells the correct time twice a day. And in the spirit of that adage, Michael Howard has today said something that I actually agree with for once. He wants to defeat ‘yob culture’ . Granted, it would be far more entertaining if he did it personally: I’d pay good money to see him come around my way and deal face-to-face with the be-capped Neanderthals that seem to be slowly taking over the entire country. But let’s face it, that’s not going to happen. Still, I like the idea of the police instilling fear into antisocial young people. Another method would be to drag anyone caught driving a souped-up Vauxhall Nova from their cars and hit them with clubs like seals. Perhaps some sort of tagging technology stitched into the fabric of Reebok Classics so we always know when they are gathered in numbers greater than two? Should anyone care to read any more of my thoughts on our chav/prole underclass, you can do so here. Just bouncing ideas around. But I’d still never vote for Michael Howard.

This is the neeeeeeewwwws

A few things have been going around my mind today so I’m going to copy The Realist and make a few points under one, easy to digest post. Lazy? Oh yes.

1. Speaking today, Tony Blair said that church leaders should play a bigger role in society. No, they shouldn’t. He also said churches make a “visible, tangible difference for the better in society”. No, they don’t.
2. Hospital superbug MRSA has claimed its youngest victim so far: a 36-hour-old baby. Who wants to bet that the Conservative Party won’t try to make political capital out of this tragedy within the next two days? They’ve been grabbing at straws trying to stake a claim for any populist political cause lately. Even more than usual. Anything to get media coverage, usually appealing to the baser instincts. Immigrants, abortion, gypsies, the EU convention on human rights, the toast landing buttered side down – if they think people don’t like it, they’ll build a policy around it. I saw one of their campaign ads the other day, which simply says, in a mock, “common sense” statement: “I mean, how difficult can it be to clean a hospital?”. The idea that the NHS would be safer under a Tory government is so laughable it doesn’t even warrant consideration. It’d be like making Colonel Sanders patron saint of chickens.
3. The Terri Schiavo ruling. I don’t know whether it is right or wrong to continue someone’s life under these circumstances – I don’t know enough about the case and the situation changes depending on where you read about it. Some sources say she responds to conversation and certain stimulus, others say she is in a permanent vegetative state. Who to believe? The fact that Florida state and, now, after a grisly pantomime, a Federal judge have decreed that the feeding tube should be removed, suggests that the medical prognosis that she should be allowed to die is the correct one. I know that if I was in that situation I would not want to live. The idea of perpetuating life, just because it is possible, is ridiculous. Surely keeping her alive is the cruellest of options? But even then, the manner of the death is horrific. Withdrawal of food and water until death by dehydration occurs? That’s positively barbaric. Surely there’s a quicker and more humane way of doing this?
4. Camilla Parker Bowles will not be queen when Charles becomes king. She will instead be “Princess Consort”. Well, praise be! Thank the stars we’ve finally had that one clarified.
5. Another day, another gun massacre at an American high school. But you’d be a fool to think that changing the gun laws would make a difference. After all, guns don’t kill people: psychopathic, Nazi-obsessed goths with easy access to guns kill people.
6. I know it’s all in a good cause, and it’s “just a bit of fun”, but if I hear that fucking Comic Relief song by Peter Kay/Tony Christie one more time I swear I will go on a killing spree of my own. Is This The Way To Amarillo? No, it’s the way to irritate the hell out of the whole country. Peter Kay, the backlash starts here.