- If Prince Charles really hates facing the media so much, then why, why, why doesn’t he just stop? It’s not like there’s a gun held to his head. He’d be doing us all a favour anyway, and would stop taking up valuable news space. Jug eared twat.
- Overheard at work by two colleagues discussing their iPod playlists: “The Maroon 5 album’s really good”. Now, let’s be clear about this, lest there be any confusion: listening to the excretia pumped out by these turgid, sub-OC soundtrack material, soul-less, MTV poodle, pop-funk cocksuckers is like being fucked in the ears. They make me envy the deaf. Just wanted to clear that up, once and for all.
- Can we please impose regime change in Zimbabwe?
- Even a broken clock tells the correct time twice a day. And in the spirit of that adage, Michael Howard has today said something that I actually agree with for once. He wants to defeat ‘yob culture’ . Granted, it would be far more entertaining if he did it personally: I’d pay good money to see him come around my way and deal face-to-face with the be-capped Neanderthals that seem to be slowly taking over the entire country. But let’s face it, that’s not going to happen. Still, I like the idea of the police instilling fear into antisocial young people. Another method would be to drag anyone caught driving a souped-up Vauxhall Nova from their cars and hit them with clubs like seals. Perhaps some sort of tagging technology stitched into the fabric of Reebok Classics so we always know when they are gathered in numbers greater than two? Should anyone care to read any more of my thoughts on our chav/prole underclass, you can do so here. Just bouncing ideas around. But I’d still never vote for Michael Howard.