I’m currently in the process of selling my flat and buying a house with Citizeness Sane (we need to make space for her shoes). It’s going to be great: we will have such luxuries as (gasp!) a garden! And an upstairs! And a second bedroom! And we’ll own it outright too, so no more lease management company charging me six hundred pounds a year for nothing.
But it’s a damn expensive process, moving house. Solicitor fees, mortgage broker fees, estate agent commission (“here, have 2% of the value of the property for doing fuck all”), surveyor fees, removal costs, etc. Oh, and stamp duty. Stamp duty. Don’t get me started on stamp duty.
We’re going to buy a house.
That’s great! Exactly the sort of thing we want to encourage. Now please make out a cheque for one per cent of the value of the property you are buying.
Err, excuse me?
Well, you’re buying a house. So it stands to reason that you should give us a couple of thousand pounds. So cough up you little tax bitches, or we’ll send the bailiffs round.
It’s sickening. We’ve already been screwed by the value of property in this country, especially in London. To then have to hand money over like this makes me foam at the mouth with rage. If I ever meet Gordon Brown I’ll stick his ‘stamp duty’ up his fat arse. In gold bullion.