Dear Tony Blair,
Please find enclosed a cheque for £1.37. Consider it a loan to the party, if you get my drift. Nudge nudge, wink wink, etc.
Obviously – other than a competitive rate of interest – I don’t expect anything in return. Nope, not a thing.
Mind you, I’ve always been quite partial to the feel of red leather. If you get my drift. I hear the House of Lords has plenty of red leather seats. And I’ve always seen myself as nobility. Lord Sane has a certain ring to it, don’t you think?
Anyway, no pressure.
All the best (I think you’re going to need it),
P.S. If you’d properly reformed the House of Lords you wouldn’t be having this controversy now. We’d elect members of the upper chamber, not handpick them. Just a thought.