I should be on commission

I am not, by any means, an expert on computers. I know enough to get by, certainly, and I’ve usually been able to fix whatever software or hardware problem I’ve encountered through a combination of persistence, searching with Google and shouting profanities until I have a breakthrough.

Friends and relatives who encounter problems with their own computers and gadgets will often ask me for help and I’m happy to give it. Seeing as they are typically PC users, more often than not it comes down to updating or installing anti-spyware and anti-virus software and generally spring cleaning their hard drive. In the last year, however, when asked for advice on any computer related issue I have given only one response: “Get a Mac”.

Since switching last year I have never looked back and have become, as so many do, a walking endorsement for Apple. My dad took one look at my iMac and subsequently went out and bought a MacBook instead of replacing his (faulty, naturally) desktop PC. A friend asked me to help him pick out a new laptop at the start of the year: I converted him to the cause in about two minutes and the next day he went to the Apple store on Regent Street and also bought a MacBook instead of wasting money on some ugly and inferior piece of shit from Currys or wherever.

I still have a laptop that runs Windows but I only use it because it’s there, it’s portable and, if I need to log in to my work’s network, it has to be on a computer running Microsoft’s ubiquitous and irritating operating system. If it weren’t for that, I would have sold it / given it away / started using it as a dinner tray a long time ago and bought a MacBook myself.

I have had my iMac for nearly a year now and, in that time, it has never:

  • Crashed. Not once. Not ever.
  • Slowed down to a halt for no discernible reason
  • Refused to acknowledge any piece of hardware I plug into it
  • Been infected with a virus (no surprise there) and therefore has never:
  • Required a system scan to look for malicious software, hogging the system’s resources while it does so and taking about two hours to complete
  • Started running unwanted programs without my permission, thus taking about half an hour to boot up
  • Needed to scan for spyware
  • Frozen instead of shutting down, requiring it to be unplugged from the mains
  • Made me feel like picking it up and throwing it out of the window in sheer rage and contempt

Any one of which is likely to happen with the average PC on any given day and that is why I never intend to buy one of the cursed things again. I have converted to Macs with an almost religious zeal. The Apple Store is my church and Steve Jobs is god.

Join me.


Centrist. Atlanticist. Dry liberal. Anti-totalitarian. Post-ideological pragmatist. Child of The Enlightenment. Toucan.

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8 comments on “I should be on commission
  1. […] Posted in February 10th, 2008 Tags: conversion by Dizzle in apple fanbois/fangrls, sheer kool-aid Citizen Sane and I are so totally on the same page that I am in awe of his post. I should be on […]

  2. Dizzle says:

    Dude, you rock hard. I loved your post.

  3. ph says:

    But they cost 3 times as much and are used by graphic designers

  4. Citizen Sane says:

    They’re not three times as expensive, not if you compare a like for like spec. Nothing like it.

    They are used by graphic designers though, I’ll give you that.

  5. Qualier says:

    Yeah, but Mitchell and Webb sold out flogging them. Just for that i’m sticking with Gates and the paper clip thingey.

  6. Sam says:

    Yes! I love my MacBook and am constantly trying to get people to join the Apple religion. My flatmate is in love with her Windows, but I am determined to convert her.

  7. East of Ipswich says:

    Vista is shit. But I’ve just bought a nice new Samsung laptop that is red, so I won’t change to a Mac any day soon. And I code, and although DreamWeaver is out there for the Mac, the prospect of only having one button on the mouse sends me a bit funny…
    …although years ago I had an SE/30, that I loved. Verily Windows sucks, and Vista really sucks, but sadly I have to use it for now as it’s what everyone else uses. Which is a bit like saying I have to watch Ant and Dec because it’s what everyone else watches. Although note – I don’t watch Ant and Dec or for that matter any mainstream TV as it makes me want to kill myself; even more than Vista does.

  8. Citizen Sane says:

    Qualier – you’re living in denial. Join us.

    Sam – keep the faith.

    East of Ipswich – 3 points:
    1) The new Mac mouse doesn’t just have one button any more. It’s entirely configurable and actually has five if you want it to. I use mine as the traditional two button option: left click for selection and right click as context menu.
    2) If you still don’t like it you can plug in any old mouse you want to and it will work anyway.
    3) New Macs run on Intel chips so you can easily run Windows or Vista on them in addition to Mac OS if you want thanks to the inbuilt Boot Camp function or you can run software like Fusion or Parallels to run Windows WITHIN Mac OS in a separate window. Have the best of both worlds!

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