Up the Arse

I remember when Arsenal beating Chelsea was habitual, more or less guaranteed. This was more than half a decade ago of course, before they became a super disciplined winning machine honed by that enormous arrogant cock Jose Mourinho. So it was hugely satisfying to see Arsenal win 3-1 tonight, like a glorious flashback to a happier footballing age. A time before the petro-dollars of Roman Abramovich lifted Chelsea from the verge of bankruptcy and perpetual non-achievement to formidable automatons grinding out victory at the expense of entertainment.

Chelsea represent everything about the modern game that is loathsome. The sugar daddy providing funds far and above their status, buying their way to success, playing really dull football in the process. A team packed with some of the biggest arseholes the game has ever seen: John Terry, Frank Lampard, Didier Drogba, ASHLEY COLE. Jesus wept. A soulless club with no history instantly propelled to the upper echelons and kept there by oil money. At least Man United have years of success and a huge fan base, ditto Liverpool. Bad enough as it is when you lose to them, at least they are big clubs by virtue of their history and past glories. Chelsea are the Dubai of football.

Safe to say: not a fan.

P.S. Manchester City are arguably even worse, but until they are actually organised enough to win anything they’re not quite in the same category. In the meantime, let’s enjoy Chelsea’s decline and hope it is inexorable.

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Centrist. Atlanticist. Dry liberal. Anti-totalitarian. Post-ideological pragmatist. Child of The Enlightenment. Toucan.

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